HOW THIS STRESS DOCTOR FOUND HIS WRITER'S VOICE Metaphorical Advice from Colorful Friends        On March 15, 1989 I wrote on a piece of paper: Goal: to write a book by March 15, 1990.  What an optimist!  It took exactly 5 years from start to finish.  But what a learning experience it turned out to be.   When you start a new project, it’s a good idea to get advice from experienced people.  The first person I called was a well-respected Canadian publisher who was a life-long family friend.  He told me how to write a proposal and who to send it to.  He also told me that writing this kind of book was like unwrapping a package.  He called it the “unfolding of an idea.”  You start with a central premise and then you explore and develop it, delving deeper and deeper into it.  I wrote a draft proposal with a long, detailed table of contents and gave it to another friend who’d done a ton of writing.  He said, “You can’t send this out – it’s like a grocery list.  You have to write the proposal in the style you’ll be using in the book.  You have to make the words jump off the page! “   Next, an experienced journalist friend advised me to “make it chatty - make it easy and fun to read”.   So I went back and tried to find chatty words that jumped off the page. I began writing my proposal on a 1944 Underwood typewriter.  Another friend, who’d already written two books, said to me “Do not even think about writing a book on a typewriter.  You have to get a word processor.”  The idea of writing a book was challenging enough.  The concept of researching, buying and learning to use a computer seemed overwhelming.  However, I heeded his advice and purchased a Macintosh SE30 desktop that made the work dramatically easier – and also turned out to be the best toy I ever bought!     I booked off an entire week in May of 1989 to get started.  I didn’t know whether the writing process would be a drudge (like writing essays in high school) or pleasant.  Surprisingly, I found it much more enjoyable than I ever expected.  Despite the episodes of frustration (like the time I accidentally deleted half a day’s work), I enjoyed the solitude, the challenge, the creativity and the days when I felt that my writing was very funny or moving.  On those days, I deluded myself into thinking I was incredibly brilliant! After churning out 150 pages of manuscript, I shopped it around to several colleagues and friends.  The feedback was clear and consistent: “This is too structured. It’s too academic.  Just tell stories.  That’s your strength and that’s what people like to read.”  So, I scrapped my first draft and started again – to just tell stories. My next lesson came from a close friend in Baltimore.  He read my next draft and said, “The stories are great but it needs more mortar between the bricks”.  “What does that mean?” I asked. “Well, you’ve got all these anecdotes but you don’t have anything to link them together or to explain to the reader why you’re telling these stories.  You need to set them up better and then tie them together so they flow.”  So I went back and put in the mortar: linkages and transitional sentences.  Another friend said, “It needs more raisins”. “What does that mean?” “It’s like eating Raisin Bran.  We know we have to eat the bran to get the fiber.  But they throw in the raisins so it tastes better.  You’ve got a lot of important information here but it needs something to lighten it up.”  So I went back and added more raisins: little asides and one-liners for humor. Finally, a friend in Boston said, “This book is unreadable.” “What do you mean?” “There’s so much meat on the bones. I can’t find the bones.” “What does that mean?” “You’ve got so many stories to illustrate your points that, by the time I get to the third story, I can’t remember what point you were making.”  I’d been found out!  Brevity was not my strong suit.  My subconscious motto was  “Why use one word when five will do?” My friend had been writing in professional journals for years and knew how to express herself concisely .  She was also a true friend to be so candid.  I knew I had to take her advice seriously.  After taking 24 hours to recover from the sting of her very discerning remarks, I sat down with the manuscript. Over the next week, I edited out 60 pages of my own writing – not an easy thing to do, especially when you’ve gone over the material so many times.  I shudder to think of how wordy and overwritten it had been.      Through all of my writing and endless re-writing – guided by experienced friends through their lively metaphors, the book eventually took shape and on April 30th, 1994, “Always Change a Losing Game” was launched by Key Porter Books in Toronto.  It became a national bestseller and was sold all over the world.  I have written two other books since then but it was with “Always Change a Losing Game” that I found my writer’s voice. I also learned some important lessons: • the value of asking for help • the importance of feedback – especially negative feedback given constructively • that True Friends will tell you the truth, not just what you want to hear • and that writing a book takes much longer than you’d ever imagine!