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More ideas for making decisions... 3. Ask what's the best and the worst that can happen? Then weigh upside benefits vs. downside risks. A friend called me about a hot investment tip---a secure second mortgage paying 4% higher than current rates. I bounced it off my brother who is very wise in these matters. He asked two questions: "If it's so secure, why are they paying a 4% premium?" and "How much are you planning to invest?" I said, "$5,000." He did the math: "The extra 4% would only increase your return by $200 a year (your upside potential benefit). But your downside risk is that you could lose the whole $5,000. I wouldn't touch it." Put in those terms, the decision was easy. Here's a story where the upside benefit exceeded the downside risk. A patient was very unhappy in his job but wondered whether he should say anything about his grievances. He wanted things to improve but was afraid of making waves. However, he'd reached a point where, if things didn't get better, he was planning to leave. Speaking up had a potential upside of resolving his problems whereas the downside risk was minimal because he had one foot out the door anyway. So he talked to his employer, changes were made, and he happily stayed with the company. 4. Don't look for the perfect decision. A patient was struggling with a difficult decision. We listed all her options and every one of them had serious drawbacks. Finally, I suggested we change our perspective. "Let's stop looking for a good solution---there isn't one. Just pick the one that's least bad". 5. Imagine you've already made the decision and then notice how you feel. One of my patients was struggling with a decision and finally I said, "It sounds like a tie to me. Why don't we just flip a coin?" She said, "Okay." As soon as she saw that it was tails, her face dropped. "Do you want to go two out of three?" I asked. She quickly said, "Yeah." In that moment, she realized that her reaction was an indication of her true preference. 6. Use the 80/20 rule. In today's fast-moving business world, decisions have to be made quickly, often without having all the information. A rough rule of thumb is that, if you have 80% of the information you need, you've got enough to make the decision. 7. Listen to your heart, but give your head a vote. In relationships, we tend to go by gut reaction and emotion. This is understandable and probably unavoidable. But, when it comes to major decisions, you should also listen to your rational side. One of my patients was so taken by the new man in her life that, a month after their first date, she moved in with him. As she learned more about him warning bells started to go off in her head. Emotionally, she was still tremendously attracted to him. But her rational self started to admit that there were incompatibilities that were going to pose huge problems down the line. With great anguish she decided to end the relationship before she got in any deeper. 8. Listen to your intuition. There are times when the little voice in your head keeps saying, "I don't think this is a good idea." It's tempting to ignore that voice, but sometimes it comes from the deepest part of your wisdom and you need to listen. Look at your previous track record. If you've ignored this voice in the past to your regret then it would be smart to take heed. On the other hand, if your internal voice has been overly cautious and you've missed some wonderful opportunities, then you may want to override it on occasion. 9. Don't make major decisions when you're angry or depressed. Strong emotion can skew your judgement and make it hard to see things clearly. When people are angry they may be tempted to punish another person or to do something out of spite. Similarly, when people are depressed their judgement is influenced by negative thoughts about themselves, the situation and/or the future. It usually pays to delay the decision until you feel better and see the situation more clearly. It might also help to bounce your thinking off a trusted friend or professional person to get their perspective. The next time you're in a state of indecision, consider some of these
ideas. And if you're shopping for a bathing suit and you don't see anything
you like leave the store! And take your fashion advisor with you. All material copyrighted, David B. Posen M.D. |