Holiday Stress

  1. Avoid holiday stress. Start now! (To be read in October)
  2. How to enjoy holiday stress
  3. More on how to enjoy holiday stress
  4. Feelings that surface during the holiday season
  5. Have you made your New Year's resolutions?

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Have you made your New Year's resolutions yet?

Okay, the holidays are almost over. You got through Christmas and Hanukkah.

Now the next big date is New Year's Day. One good thing about January 1st is that it gives us all a fresh start. And none too soon.

You've just come through a month in which you probably ate more than you expected, drank more than you intended and spent more than you could afford. Fortunately, the calendar now gives you a chance to make amends and turn over a new leaf for the coming year.

I used to scoff at New Year's resolutions, but a few years ago I actually gave it some thought and jotted down a few things. My motto has been to keep things simple, so last year I only wrote down three items:

  1. Leave work at 6:00 p.m.
  2. Do it now (to stop procrastinating)
  3. Set cruise control at 110 (down from 115 - i.e. to drive slower)

I kept the paper handy as a reminder. And even though I've strayed a bit through the year, I did pretty well.

Here are some thoughts about making New Year's resolutions.

  1. Put them in writing. On March 15, 1989, after hearing a speech by best-selling author, Dr. Peter Hanson, I was inspired to write a book of my own. I went home that night, took out a writing pad, and wrote at the top: "GOAL: To Write A Book By March 15, 1990." That simple declaration was the start of my first book, Always Change a Losing Game. I had been thinking about writing a book for years. But putting it in writing turned the idea into a decision---and a commitment.
  2. Limit your number of resolutions. Some people get so ambitious that they write down a laundry list of good intentions. Within weeks they feel overwhelmed and give up. A short list of meaningful goals increases your likelihood of success. Three to five items are probably realistic. They can relate to health, relationships, work, money, education, community or spirituality. Just don't overload yourself.
  3. Implement your goals sequentially. Address your resolutions one at a time. Experts tell us it takes 21 days to change a behaviour. Two years ago, I started doing back exercises using a system of ropes and pulleys. It was a hassle and I did it only sporadically. Finally, I decided to get serious. Within three weeks, it became a natural part of my morning routine. So, pick one item from your list and work on it for a few weeks. When it becomes comfortable, add a second item for three weeks and so on. You're more likely to succeed and to avoid getting discouraged.
  4. Be realistic. Don't make grandiose resolutions and quantum leaps. If you're just getting off the couch to start exercising, don't resolve to work out every day. Commit to a walk three times a week and see how it works out. Then build from there.
  5. Be specific. Don't talk in generalities (e.g. "I'm going to cut down on my drinking"). The resolution should read, "I will have a glass of wine with dinner on weeknights and two drinks on weekend days."
  6. Be positive. Instead of stating what you won't do, state what you intend to do. Rather than saying, "I'm going to stop going to bed so late," use "I will start going to bed by 11:00"
  7. Express action, not results. Since you can only control your own behaviour, watch how you word your resolutions. Instead of saying, "I will get a promotion," say, "I resolve to apply for the manager's job and to upgrade my management skills." The actual granting of a promotion is not in your hands.
  8. Go public. Make your resolutions known to other people. This does not require an announcement on your company bulletin board or a mass mailing to all your acquaintances. Sharing with one or two close relatives or friends will help make your goals more real. It also invites their support. If you're reluctant to do this, it might indicate a lack of intention on your part to follow through.

Make your New Year's resolutions an opportunity for renewal, not a laborious or unpleasant task. You may want to reflect for a few days before writing them down. But when you put them on paper, make them a commitment to yourself. So, here's to 2001 (and what the purists tell us is the "real" start of the new millennium). Happy New Year.

All material copyrighted, David B. Posen M.D.