Holiday Stress

  1. Avoid holiday stress. Start now! (To be read in October)
  2. How to enjoy holiday stress
  3. More on how to enjoy holiday stress
  4. Feelings that surface during the holiday season
  5. Have you made your New Year's resolutions?

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Avoid holiday stress - Start Now!

And every year these advice-filled columns include the same sage advice: "Plan ahead and start early." However, mid-December is a tad late to receive this timely wisdom. So let's be proactive and issue the call now: whether you observe Christmas, Chanukah, or other celebrations, it's time to get mobilized.

A radio survey done in 1997 revealed that the #1 stressor at Christmas time is "finding enough time to fit everything in." For many folks, especially women, Christmas is a four letter word - and it's not spelled X-M-A-S.

It's W-O-R-K!

December is typically a month crammed with shopping, entertaining, visiting, decorating, sending cards, cooking and baking. Pre-planning will help.

GIFT BUYING

Holiday shopping in December - ahh, the memories. Hours spent elbowing your way through crowded stores while getting overheated from wearing your winter coat in department stores and malls (taking it off just means one more thing to carry). Finding out that they don't have the size or colour you want; getting beat to the last piece of cut glass or the last designer sweatshirt by the person just ahead of you. And let's not forget the sales staff who are either nowhere in sight or too busy to help. Of course, all of that only happens if you actually get into the store after circling the mall endlessly to find a parking spot.

Are your teeth on edge yet? Don't worry, here are some suggestions that may help.

  1. Shop in advance. Like now! You do risk paying full price for stuff that will be marked down on December 23rd and thinking, "If only I'd waited." But of course, if you had waited, that would be the year they sold out in November! I buy gifts throughout the year - whenever a great idea grabs my attention - and stash them away.
  2. Prepare gift lists before hitting the mall. Then zero in on those items. Browsing can be time-consuming and discouraging. Use catalogues to get ideas. Ask family members to prepare gift lists and keep them in a central place where everyone can discretely refer to them. Shop by mail or on-line.
  3. Set budgetary limits. Do comparison shopping by phone. Consider paying cash to keep your spending under control - and to avoid the credit card crunch in January. Consider one gift per person. In big families, drawing names is helpful. And set a price limit to protect against excessive spending - it also invites creativity. Making gifts is another option - but keep it simple and start early.
  4. Make Christmas shopping a social occasion. Meet a friend for lunch or take in a movie to make it an enjoyable outing.
  5. Stop trying to find the "ideal gift." Don't drive 50 kilometers to find "the perfect candlesticks" for Aunt Maude. Think about gift certificates for hard-to-buy-for people. Wrap them in fancy boxes. Then the recipients can choose their own present after the holidays - often at reduced prices. Consider magazine subscriptions or gift coupons for a massage or movie.
  6. Hide your October-bought gifts - but remember where you hid them! Funny how Christmas/Chanukah turns us into sneaky people, making statements like, "I don't want anyone going into my clothes closet for the next month" or "If you need anything from the basement, just ask me and I'll get it for you." Store things in the garage or at your workplace. Or swap with a neighbour who also planned ahead.

SOCIAL PLANNING

    Inviting family and friends at holiday season can be like scrambling to find a partner for the last dance at the school prom. To avoid disappointment, phone early. As for accepting invitations, don't overbook your social calendar. Don't accept every invitation. Leave some evenings free to relax and go to bed early. Avoid more than one event for the same evening (the "We'll try to drop in" Syndrome) which leaves you clock-watching and running from place to place.

GREETING CARDS

    This can be a real "make-work" project. I've seen patients struggling in mid-December to send out dozens of Christmas cards. Internal debates abound: Do I send a family picture or not? Shall I write a personal message in each card? Should I write a separate letter or send a newsletter? Consider the following:

  1. Prune your list from year to year. Start by eliminating all the names you no longer recognize!
  2. Don't send cards to people whom you see regularly or will be seeing during the holidays.
  3. Don't get carried away with long letters - especially if there are 50 names on your list!
  4. Most importantly, start early. Do a few at a time. Pace yourself. Sending holiday greetings can be an enjoyable activity if it's done when you're relaxed and unpressured.

These are some things you can do now to prepare for the festive season. There are about 60-plus shopping days till Christmas - use them wisely. There is no one quite so calm (or smug!) as the person who's done all their shopping by early December, has their tree trimmed, their cards mailed and their social calendar planned. They look so mellow and relaxed. Well, if you start now, by December that person could be you.

All material copyrighted, David B. Posen M.D.